I have this cat, Christine, who I love dearly. She's been living with my parents as I have been in school, but now that I'm not anymore, I want her to come live with me. She is about 8 years old and my parents are worried she won't adjust well. My mother went as far as to say that she feels horrible for the cat, and that her heart breaks for her. She also implied I didn't love the cat because when she was giving birth to her kittens I was at a wedding. I've had people tell me she'll be fine, and people tell me she will be misrable. Am I doing the right thing by taking her? I know it doesn't make sense to uproot and animal generally, but I'm bonded with her, and her with me. Her and my mother are, as well, though. But I know I'm more attached than my mother is. ::sighs:: I'm going to go ahead and take her. I know she'll be upset/confused at first, but will settle in. Am I a bad person? Or selfish?

Does it count if you are being good for somebody else?
I'm not compleatly, but in part. Not smoking, that is. Bad enough that my nails have gotten bitten (one broke and I nibbled it down.) Several broke, and ended the same way. 6 are intact and looking alright. :/ But yea, it's the smoking. It's horrible for you, I get that, so I don't do it because I don't want lung cancer or (insert-nasty-thing-one-gets-from-smoking.) But I think when it comes down to it, I really don't want my friends to be disappointed with me, or angry at me.... mostly disappointed. Especially fuz. ::sighs::

So glad to relax tonight. If I get to.

I love you, Ian.

I'm so excited to go home tonight and pack... It will be wicked fun to do, especially since I have no boxes, and have no way to get any. Walking home carrying the boxes I took from work will also be sweet. I just hope they don't get too damaged in the rain. I guess I can put some music on and jam out in my underwear while I cram my life into what few boxes I do have, seeing as I'll be the only fucking person in my apartment. I would give anything for some company. Maybe they could monitor me to ensure I don't lose my mind tonight. At least tomorrow my father offered to help me paint. I just hope we don't massacre the walls, rugs, ceilings, whatever. I also hope he's back to himself. I'm overwhelmed.
Well, it's not like this is the first time I've done something impossible.

"Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the country I love so much, and tonight, I remain her servant," John McCain


That is why I admire McCain. I don't think he would have made a better president than Obama, but I'm not sure he would have made a worse one...

Oh boy. Just going to have to wait and see what comes out in the wash.

So last night, walking home from work, a few kids approached me asking to use my phone so they could call 911, saying there was a fire. I asked them to show me, and they pointed to the stairwell by the school. It was pretty small, so I put it out with my foot, it only took a few min. Luckily I was wearing my old shoes, because it melted the bottoms of them. I noticed that what had been lit on fire was a piece of denim, like cut up pants. The rivit things they put on them were on the ground, and one of them was imbedded in my shoe. I thought about calling the police, but ended up deciding it would be a waste of their time.
This morning, walking to work, a block away from the school I saw emergency personell. A house was taped off because it had been burned through and through. The frame stood, but it was all char, and the windows were blown out. The house next to it was in better shape because the fire only got to about 1/3 of it, but it was very bad damage. I don't know if anybody was hurt, but the damage was extreme. Should I contact the police? Tell them about the little fire nearby, and the denim and the kids?

My other morning "adventure" involves finding a cat which looked like one pictured in a lost poster. I called the number after uncessfully trying to catch the cat, and they said they found their cat already, but thanks. This little guy was young, and his back legs were splayed outward. He wasn't bleeding, and got around fine, but was either born deformed or had an accident. He was friendly enough to come over to me, but didn't want me to pick him up. ::sighs:: I just feel badly I can't help. He doesn't have a collar, so I think I'll contact the woman I know who rescues cats, and she may be able to help him. He wasn't fixed, either.

Anyway, I emailed the fire department (didn't want to call from work, though I might try them later.)

Guess that's it.

My new glasses are in! I can take the super glue out of my purse...

Waiting to find out if we get that appartment I drool over. The guy hasn't contacted us either way. Did he rent it so someone else? Does he not want to rent it to us? I hope he lets us know now. Right now. Plz? Also hope we get it...

I'm feeling lots. I'm excited about getting the new place, but afraid it will fall through, and anxious about packing and moving stuff, plus sad that I won't get to hang out with Bobby. Also afraid of the money situation, as it's going to be tight for a while.
I'm annoyed at the thought of trying to diet and lose weight, and doing crunches, but know it will be super cool if I do.
I'm really excited about the prospect of a photo/painting project I should be doing soon, but worried I'll look bad.
I'm sad Ian is going away for two weeks, but happy he gets to go to a place he loves! I will miss you, fuzzy! I really hope he enjoys his time there even though he will be working.
I'm also sad fuz won't be going to my grandfathers birthday, but it's not a huge deal, I just like his company (and to show him off.)
I'm pleased that my current job isn't horrible, and that it looks like I may be able to stay for a while.
I'm delighted I get to see horsies this weekend! And also spend more time with fuz's family, even though I'm shy, and I'll be nervous.
I'm excited for the holidays, but wish I could spend time with everybody I love, yet know that's not possible.

I feel so much I started to fell dull :P
Home = Nap

Today I recieved a call at work from a woman with a southern accent. I answered "Becon Sales," per the norm, and she politely said "pardon me?" to which I repeated the name of the company. She then said something not unlike this; "I have your product, and I'm wondering how I should heat up the lasagna."
I am currently temping for a roofing company.
I explained to her that she had the wrong number, but she clearly didn't believe me. "We sell roofing materials. We do not carry lasagna." She told me the number she dialed (found on the back of the box,) which was ours, but I told her again that she had the wrong number, and assured her that we do not sell food products at all. Eventually she believed me, and apologized. The conversation ended.
This just made my day. Not totally sure why.
By the way, roofing supplies are often very toxic, and require a special permit to transport. Roofing products are not food products.

I had a dream last night that my copper bracelet, the one I never take off, broke and fell off. It symbolizes the connection to my family, so this is slightly disturbing to me. Maybe it has to do with my father shaving his moustache.

I just wanted to share that my wonderful boyfriend took the day off of work to hold my hand cause I was being a big pussy. Thank you, fuzzy. It helped a lot. <3

If you hold my hand tomorrow, I'll be alright.

Congrats, fuzzy! Yey!

It smells very strongly of burning rubber here ::looks around::

I can haz cig. now, plz? No? Okie. But every1 else haz 1.

I can haz fone now, plz? Yes? I want call drz and make weekend planz and play with new fone, plz?

And every1 else haz 1.

I have calmed down some, but am still stressed out. There's a lot going on. Tonight I'm going to make tacos for whomever is in the house (Bobby fed everyone Friday and I want to repay him somehow.) I have to fix things with my friends. ::sighs::
My weekend was strange. I want a picture of myself in my cat mask.
fuz's car trouble is upsetting, and I wish I could help. So poopy.
I need new glasses, but that also means a new RX... so, ew. More time and money and complications. Superglue is working alright though, even if they almost got stuck to my face last night hahaha. Ha. Ha?
Tonight is tacos and rest and hopefully talking to friends. Group hug?
Also I have to point out that my boyfriend is amazing, and was so kind as to lend himself as a pillow on the bus ride home this weekend. It was nice to have him hold me and to feel safe, and get to snuggle.

Oh, how I love that man.

There is too much in my brain, so I'm going to sort it here.

I have too much paper work to do at my job. I can't possibly process all this information in one day... I'm way behind, and I'm not sure my boss understands how long this type of work really takes. This is a big sorce of stress for me.

I have too many doctors appointments and no time to go to them. These would be:

The dermatologist (sp?)- something may be up with my skin, and it seems dumb to ignore it. Sadly, they can only do biopsies (sp??)3 samples at a time for insurance reasons, so I need to go back in a few weeks...

The head doctor- I can't miss this one.

The cardiologist- I'm pretty sure my blood pressure is stable, so I'm going to postpone this one. I need to check my bp more, though. :/

The eye doctor- Well, my glasses broke, and are glued/taped together for now... I need a new RX I'm pretty sure anyway, so rather than order new glasses with the old RX, I should get a check up and update the RX for the new glasses and contacts (when I get them.)

The kidney specialist- I am being told both that my kidney function is ok, and that it is not ok, so... I'm paranoid maybe, but I think I should get this checked. I like my kidnys.

The allergist- This can wait.

Next. My apartment:

It is dirty and messy, and it makes me feel crummy. A lot of it is my fault, especially since I have tons of stuff. I want to start over. I want a place that isn't impossible to clean due to years of filth and neglect. I want a normal, adult home that doesn't have shitty neighbors. I want to live as a couple with my partner. I'm afraid that my roommate doesn't understand my reasons, which is sad for me. I'll miss living with him, and I don't want anything stupid to damange our friendship.

My friends and boyfriend:

Boyfriend is upset with the state of the house, and is freaking out. I hate watching this, and know I can't just make it better. I worry about him. :/ A lot of my friends seem to be stuck in limbo, and are very unhappy. I'm right there with them; it's like we're all suspended. Some are just drifting away and even losing touch with reality. I'm always worried about my cousin.
Several people seem mad at me. One person I said something to that I shouldn't have, but didn't realize it upset him. I think I need to suck up my pride and appologize.

Money:

I'm saving some. Cool. But I still don't have a steady job. What happens when temping doesn't cover it, or gets patchy?
My goal is to someday own a house and live in the country. It might be many, many years from now, but I want it. And I'll get it. The thought of living in the slums depresses me, but it won't be forever. I've gone through too much to settle.

Brain Chemistry:

Going on a down. My situation doesn't help. I need to take better care of myself so I don't fall over blind, deaf, dumb and lost in a world nobody else can enter.

Black and White:

This should be fun. I'm going to make my dress today (if the black fabric and the bodice go together) and make my mask, which I am very excited about. I need to find my money...

I don't know what it is I should do this weekend... There is an event everyone seems to be going to. If it didn't mean sleeping in a cabin with other random people; if it didn't mean feeling lost while people are questing; if I wouldn't likely get home late Sunday night... well then perhaps I would be excited to go.
Though... Some of my friends will be there. I get to wear pretty clothes. Maybe I will bring my camera. And sleep in. And eat some nice food. And be with fuz. That's what I want the most, is time with him. Also maybe I'll quest and hopefully not feel like a moron when I get confused. I also have two pretty swords.
::falls flat on the desk:: My pizza has fetta on it. And black olives. nom nom, for sure.

I uh, seem to be having issues hearing people on the phone... sort of. It's more like I can't understand them. On the phone I'm using today at my new temp place, they are generally loud enough. Stupid...ear tubes. Or, yeah. I might go to the allergist. Never done it before, and heard it might be why the tubes are swollen to begin with. They sort of hurt.
My kidney's dont hurt, though! Hurray! Waiting to hear about the nephrologist.
In other news, this temp job lasts between 4 - 8 weeks, so I have steady money for that time. That's so sweet!
I need to find a way to someday adopt a serval legally. This is my newest quest.